Back-to-school season can be stressful for many kids and teens – but especially difficult for those struggling with social anxiety. For these kids, the challenges go beyond homework and new teachers. Maybe your child dreads the cafeteria, avoids speaking up in class, or worries constantly about what other kids think. Many parents wonder how to best support their child through back-to-school social anxiety without accidentally making things worse.
Here are some practical strategies to help your child feel more confident this school year.
Normalize Their Socially Anxious Feelings (Don’t Minimize)
Kids and teens with social anxiety or school-related anxiety often feel “different” or even ashamed of their fears. Instead of brushing it off with, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” try saying:
- “Lots of kids feel nervous about being around new people.”
- “It makes sense this feels overwhelming and scary.”
When you validate their emotions, you’re letting them know their anxiety isn’t weird – it’s human.
Challenge The “What Ifs”
Social anxiety is fueled by “what if” thoughts: What if nobody talks to me? What if I embarrass myself? Help your child break down those fears by asking:
- What’s the worst that could happen?
- How likely is that to actually happen?
- If it did, how would you handle it?
This kind of realistic thinking is a key part of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps shrink those big, scary thoughts into something more manageable.
Practice Social Skills In Small Steps
Avoiding anxiety triggers only makes them grow. Instead, support your child in practicing small, doable steps:
- Role-play introductions or conversations at home.
- Set up a one-on-one hangout before the first day of school.
- Encourage them to ask a teacher a question, even if they already know the answer.
Each exposure builds confidence and shows them that anxiety doesn’t have to be the boss.
Be A Calm Role Model
Kids pick up on your reactions. If you show your own anxiety about drop-off or new situations, they may mirror it. Model calm confidence by saying things like:
- “I feel nervous sometimes too, but I know I can handle it.”
This shows your child that it’s okay to feel anxious and that it’s possible to face it anyway! And if you’re wondering how to manage your own back-to-school stress as a parent, I wrote about that here.
Focus On Effort, Not Perfection
For kids with back-to-school anxiety, bravery doesn’t always look like making five new friends on day one. Sometimes, it’s just walking into the cafeteria or raising their hand once in class. Praise the effort, not just the outcome. Over time, this helps them build resilience and self-trust.
Know When To Seek Extra Help
If your child’s social anxiety keeps them from attending school, making friends, or participating in everyday activities, professional support can make a big difference. Child and teen therapists trained in CBT can help them build long-term coping strategies and self-confidence.
Final Thoughts
Back-to-school season is rarely easy for kids with social anxiety. But with your steady support, validation and encouragement, they don’t have to face it alone. Remember: your job isn’t to erase their anxiety – it’s to help them see that they can feel nervous and still take brave steps forward.
If your child’s social anxiety is making school overwhelming, seeking support can make all the difference. Whether through school resources or therapy, you don’t have to navigate this alone – and neither does your child.
At Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland, I specialize in supporting kids, teens and parents through anxiety with evidence-based tools like CBT – so your family feels less overwhelmed and more supported.
Have a friend whose child also struggles with school anxiety? Pass this along – they may find comfort and useful tips here too.
