You’ve probably heard someone say it – maybe even said it yourself: “I’m so OCD about that.” “That’s just my OCD.”
It’s usually meant to describe being neat, organized, or particular. But here’s the thing: OCD is not an adjective. It’s not about liking things tidy or color-coded – it’s a serious, often painful mental health condition that deserves real understanding.
At Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland, Dr. Bauer works with individuals every day who live with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). And what they experience goes far beyond quirks or preferences.
What OCD Really Is
OCD involves unwanted, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that create intense anxiety or distress – and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) done to relieve that distress.
These thoughts aren’t just “a little worry.” They can feel consuming, frightening, and uncontrollable.
Common obsessions might include:
Fear of contamination or harm
Intrusive doubts or “what if” thoughts
Unwanted violent or taboo images
The need for things to feel “just right”
Compulsions can look like checking, washing, counting, confessing, or seeking reassurance – but sometimes they’re entirely internal.
The key is that these behaviors aren’t done for pleasure or preference – they’re done to quiet unbearable anxiety.
Why Words Matter
When we casually say, “I’m so OCD,” we unintentionally minimize the suffering that comes with the real disorder. It can make people feel unseen or ashamed to talk about what they’re truly going through.
Language shapes understanding – and by using it thoughtfully, we can help reduce stigma and build compassion.
If you catch yourself or someone else using “OCD” as shorthand for “organized,” it’s okay. Most people mean no harm. Just take it as a moment to pause and reframe:
“I like things neat,” instead of “I’m OCD about cleaning.”
“I’m detail-oriented,” instead of “I’m so OCD about my planner.”
Small shifts in language can make a big difference.
With support and the right tools, people can learn to face fears, reduce compulsions, and live fuller, freer lives.
At Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland, Dr. Bauer specializes in evidence-based treatments like ERP and CBT for OCD and related anxiety disorders.
This OCD Awareness Week
Let’s replace stereotypes with understanding.
Let’s trade judgment for empathy.
And most importantly, let’s remember that OCD is not an adjective – it’s a real, treatable condition that deserves compassion and care.
If you or someone you love is struggling with OCD, there is help. Learn more about evidence-based treatment options at Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland.
đ Learn More and Get Support
If you’d like to learn more about obsessive-compulsive disorder or find additional support, these organizations offer reliable information and resources:
Together, we can raise awareness, challenge misconceptions, and promote compassion for those living with OCD.
#OCDAwarenessWeek  ⢠ #OCDIsNotAnAdjective  ⢠ #EndTheStigma #MentalHealthAwareness  ⢠ #AnxietyWellnessCenterOfChicagoland  ⢠ #OCDRecovery  ⢠ #YouAreNotAlone
Do you ever catch yourself triple-checking something that was fine the first time? Or tweaking a project long after everyone else would call it done? That’s perfectionism at work – convincing you it’s productive, while quietly draining your energy.
Perfectionism can feel like endless work without relief – always chasing “perfect,” never feeling done.
The Productivity Illusion
A cluttered workspace mirrors the mental overload perfectionism can create.
On the surface, perfectionism looks like dedication. You meet deadlines, polish projects, and maybe even impress others. But beneath that polished surface, it’s quietly wearing you down.
That flawless report, perfectly curated post, or picture-perfect presentation might earn praise. But does it ever really bring peace? More often, you’re left with racing thoughts, tension, and the nagging feeling that it could still be better.
Perfectionism convinces you that productivity equals worth. But it’s an illusion: you’re working hard, yes, but not always in a way that’s smart, sustainable, or kind to yourself.
Why Perfectionism Drains You
Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting to do well – it’s about trying to avoid discomfort. Fear of mistakes, self-criticism, and the need to control outcomes keep your mind running on overdrive.
Over time, the cost adds up. Perfectionism leaves you:
Burned out, even when you “accomplish” a lot
Procrastinating, because the stakes feel impossibly high
Struggling with self-criticism, even when things go well
Instead of fueling success, it steals your energy – and the more you try to be perfect, the emptier you feel.
How Your Thoughts Feed the Trap
Unhelpful thought patterns – like all-or-nothing thinking – keep perfectionism in place.
Unhelpful thought patterns act like the walls of a maze: the harder you try to escape, the more stuck you feel. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps us notice these thought patterns that fuel perfectionism.
These beliefs trick you into striving harder, but they don’t bring satisfaction – they just deepen the cycle of exhaustion.
Shifting Toward Sustainable Productivity
A pared-down to-do list can shift the focus from endless tasks to meaningful progress.
The goal isn’t to stop caring. It’s to care in ways that don’t wear you out.
A few shifts to try:
Redefine success: Instead of aiming for perfect, ask yourself: What’s good enough here? Meeting a reasonable standard can feel surprisingly freeing.
Pause self-criticism: Notice your inner voice scolding you and replace it with the tone you’d use with a close friend – kind, encouraging, patient.
Experiment with flexibility: Try finishing a task at 90% instead of 110%. Chances are, the world won’t fall apart – and you’ll feel lighter.
Focus on values, not standards: Perfectionism chases approval. Values point you toward what actually matters – connection, creativity, learning, growth.
Celebrate progress: Take time to acknowledge small wins. They’re proof that effort – not flawlessness – is what moves you forward.
A Final Word
Perfectionism convinces you that being flawless will finally make you feel safe, loved, or enough. But here’s the truth: you already are enough – messy, imperfect, wonderfully human.
Real productivity, real satisfaction, and real joy comes from balance, self-compassion, and letting go of the impossible standard.
Your best work doesn’t have to be perfect to be enough.
If perfectionism has been leaving you drained, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Therapy can help you shift patterns and reclaim your energy. Let’s take that step together – contact us today.
One week you’re soaking up late-summer sunshine, and the next you’re reaching for sweaters, noticing earlier sunsets, and maybe feeling a little unsettled. The transition from summer to fall isn’t just about changing leaves – it can also bring shifts in mood, energy, and anxiety. Understanding how seasonal changes impact your mental health can make the transition smoother, and CBT tools can help you feel more grounded as the days grow shorter.
A single leaf captures the shift – half summer green, half autumn orange – reminding us how change often shows up slowly, then all at once.
Why Seasonal Changes in Fall Affect Anxiety and Mental Health
Shorter days and cooler weather can quietly shift our mood, energy, and routines.
Shorter days = lower mood. Less sunlight means your body produces more melatonin (the sleepy hormone) and less serotonin (the feel-good chemical), which can leave you tired or irritable.
Routines shift. Fall often brings busier schedules and new demands, which can trigger “what if” worries.
Hidden grief for summer. You may catch yourself thinking, “I should’ve done more,” or dreading what’s ahead. Those thought patterns fuel anxiety and low mood.
CBT Strategies to Cope with Fall Anxiety and Seasonal Shifts
Small grounding rituals – like journaling, mindful movements, or time outside – can steady us through seasonal transitions.
Catch thinking traps. Notice if your mind jumps to all-or-nothing thoughts like “Fall is always hard for me. Ask yourself: Is there another way to see this?
Anchor in small actions. Even 10 minutes of daylight, movement or checking one thing off your list can create a positive ripple.
Create seasonal rituals. Cozy routines – journaling, warm drinks, or walks among the leaves – can ground you.
Plan for connection. Don’t wait until you “feel like it.” Schedule time with friends or family to buffer isolation.
Practice acceptance. Remind yourself: “This is just anxiety showing up because change is hard for me.” Naming it reduces its power.
For additional guidance, explore our CBT therapy services to learn how we tailor strategies for each individual.
Fall Mental Health Reminder: Finding Balance Through Seasonal Change
Feeling your mood shift with the change of seasons doesn’t mean you’re overreacting. Your brain and body are genuinely responding to the transition. With a mix of compassion and practical tools, fall can become not just a season of endings – but also a season of grounding and growth. đ
Fall can be a season of grounding and comfort when we approach it with intention and compassion.
âFrequently Asked Questions About Fall Anxiety
Q. What’s the difference between fall anxiety and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?
Fall anxiety often shows up as restlessness, worry, or difficulty adjusting to new routines. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a form of depression linked to reduced daylight, with symptoms like low mood, loss of interest, and fatigue. While they can overlap, SAD is more severe and persistent than seasonal anxiety.
Q. Why does anxiety get worse in the fall and winter months?
Shorter days affect your circadian rhythm and brain chemistry. With less sunlight, your body makes more melatonin (which makes you sleepy) and less serotonin (which regulates mood). That shift can increase fatigue, low motivation, and vulnerability to anxious thoughts.
Q. How can CBT help with seasonal anxiety?
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) teaches you to recognize unhelpful thought patterns (like “Fall is always hard for me”), challenge them, and replace them with more balanced perspectives. CBT also emphasizes behavior change – like scheduling enjoyable activities, spending time outdoors, and maintaining routines – to support mood and reduce anxiety.
Q. What are quick ways to ease anxiety during fall?
Simple steps can make a big difference: get 10-15 minutes of morning daylight, keep a steady sleep schedule, use journaling to process anxious thoughts, and plan regular social connection. Pairing small, consistent actions with self-compassion helps build resilience through the seasonal shift.
Q. When should I seek professional help for seasonal anxiety?
If your anxiety or mood changes start interfering with daily life, or if you notice hopelessness, withdrawal, or ongoing low mood, it’s time to reach out. A therapist or healthcare provider can help you identify whether you’re experiencing fall anxiety, Seasonal Affective Disorder, or another condition, and create a treatment plan that works for you.
đ Looking for Support This Fall?
The change of seasons doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. With the right support, fall can be a season of growth, grounding and renewal. If you’re ready to explore CBT tools for easing anxiety and finding balance, Dr. Bauer at Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland is here to help.
Back-to-school season can be stressful for many kids and teens – but especially difficult for those struggling with social anxiety. For these kids, the challenges go beyond homework and new teachers. Maybe your child dreads the cafeteria, avoids speaking up in class, or worries constantly about what other kids think. Many parents wonder how to best support their child through back-to-school social anxiety without accidentally making things worse.
Here are some practical strategies to help your child feel more confident this school year.
Many teens feel anxious about fitting in when school starts – social anxiety is more common than you think.
Normalize Their Socially Anxious Feelings (Don’t Minimize)
Kids and teens with social anxiety or school-related anxiety often feel “different” or even ashamed of their fears. Instead of brushing it off with, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” try saying:
“Lots of kids feel nervous about being around new people.”
“It makes sense this feels overwhelming and scary.”
When you validate their emotions, you’re letting them know their anxiety isn’t weird – it’s human.
Challenge The “What Ifs”
Social anxiety is fueled by “what if” thoughts: What if nobody talks to me? What if I embarrass myself? Help your child break down those fears by asking:
What’s the worst that could happen?
How likely is that to actually happen?
If it did, how would you handle it?
This kind of realistic thinking is a key part of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps shrink those big, scary thoughts into something more manageable.
Practice Social Skills In Small Steps
Avoiding anxiety triggers only makes them grow. Instead, support your child in practicing small, doable steps:
Role-play introductions or conversations at home.
Set up a one-on-one hangout before the first day of school.
Encourage them to ask a teacher a question, even if they already know the answer.
Each exposure builds confidence and shows them that anxiety doesn’t have to be the boss.
Small practice moments can build confidence for social situations.
Be A Calm Role Model
Kids pick up on your reactions. If you show your own anxiety about drop-off or new situations, they may mirror it. Model calm confidence by saying things like:
“I feel nervous sometimes too, but I know I can handle it.”
This shows your child that it’s okay to feel anxious and that it’s possible to face it anyway! And if you’re wondering how to manage your own back-to-school stress as a parent, I wrote about that here.
Focus On Effort, Not Perfection
For kids with back-to-school anxiety, bravery doesn’t always look like making five new friends on day one. Sometimes, it’s just walking into the cafeteria or raising their hand once in class. Praise the effort, not just the outcome. Over time, this helps them build resilience and self-trust.
Every small step, like speaking up once in class, is a victory worth celebrating.
Know When To Seek Extra Help
If your child’s social anxiety keeps them from attending school, making friends, or participating in everyday activities, professional support can make a big difference. Child and teen therapists trained in CBT can help them build long-term coping strategies and self-confidence.
Final Thoughts
Back-to-school season is rarely easy for kids with social anxiety. But with your steady support, validation and encouragement, they don’t have to face it alone. Remember: your job isn’t to erase their anxiety – it’s to help them see that they can feel nervous and still take brave steps forward.
If your child’s social anxiety is making school overwhelming, seeking support can make all the difference. Whether through school resources or therapy, you don’t have to navigate this alone – and neither does your child.
At Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland, I specialize in supporting kids, teens and parents through anxiety with evidence-based tools like CBT – so your family feels less overwhelmed and more supported.
Have a friend whose child also struggles with school anxiety? Pass this along – they may find comfort and useful tips here too.
Let’s be honest: the start of the school year can feel a lot less like a fresh start and a lot more like an emotional tornado wrapped in a to-do list. If your thoughts are racing, your stomach is in knots, or you’re lying awake wondering how you’re going to manage it all, you’re not alone. Back-to-school anxiety for parents is real and often not discussed.
Back-to-school transitions bring big feelings for parents too.
Back-to-School Anxiety Isn’t Just for Kids – Parents Feel It Too
Back-to-school anxiety is extremely common among parents. And while it’s easy to think, “It’s just a busy season, I’ll power through,” it’s worth slowing down and paying attention to what’s going on beneath the surface.
Here’s the good news: Understanding your anxiety through a cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) lens can help you feel more grounded and more in control – even when life feels anything but.
1. Notice the Thought-Feeling-Behavior Cycle
CBT starts with this core idea: our thoughts affect how we feel, and how we feel affects what we do.
The CBT model helps us see how thoughts, feelings, and actions are all connected.
Here’s an example:
Thought: “I’m already failing. Everyone else seems to have it together.”
Feeling: Defeated, anxious, irritable
Behavior: You procrastinate, snap at your partner or kids, or overwork trying to “catch up”
Sound familiar? When you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed or anxious, pause and ask:
What was I just thinking?
Is that thought helpful or true?
How is it affecting my mood or behavior right now?
The goal isn’t to shame yourself. It’s just to shine a light on the patterns so you can begin to shift them.
2. Challenge Catastrophic Thoughts Caused By Your Back-to-School Anxiety
Anxiety loves to jump to worst-case scenarios:
“What if my kid has a meltdown at drop-off every day?”
“What if I can’t keep up and everything falls apart?”
“What if I mess this up and they struggle all year?”
These thoughts feel real – and they are loud! But they’re not always accurate.
Try asking yourself:
“What’s the actual evidence for this thought?”
“What’s another way to look at this?”
“If my friend were having this thought, what would I say to them?”
CBT doesn’t ask you to be blindly optimistic. It just helps you move toward more balanced, flexible thinking – especially when anxiety is distorting the view.
3. Make a Plan (Instead of Just Worrying About One)
Worry creates the illusion of control. It feels like doing something, but often it just leaves you more mentally drained. CBT teaches us to shift from rumination to problem-solving. Here’s how:
Identify the specific worry (i.e., “I’m anxious about chaotic mornings.”)
Ask: Is this a real problem I can take action on?
If yes, brainstorm 1-2 small steps (i.e., prep clothes the night before, build in a 5-minute buffer)
If no, practice letting the worry go (i.e., with a grounding exercise, mindfulness, or self-compassion)
Pro tip: You can’t plan your way into total certainty – but you can build confidence in your ability to cope.
Sometimes the hardest part is just getting everyone out the door.
4. Use Behavioral Experiments to Test Your Beliefs
One common CBT strategy is the behavioral experiment. It’s basically a way of asking, “What if I tried something different and observed the result?”
For example:
If you believe, “If I don’t control every detail, everything will fall apart,” try letting go of one small thing (like school snack perfectionism), and see what actually happens.
Or if you think, “I have to hide my stress so I don’t upset my kids,” try being honest (“Mom’s feeling a little overwhelmed today too”) and see if it creates connection instead of chaos.
This is how we start to loosen anxiety’s grip – not just by thinking differently, but by giving ourselves evidence that different is possible.
5. Schedule Time to Recharge (Yes, Put It on the Calendar)
Your nervous system needs recovery time to stay regulated. When you’re constantly in go-mode, your stress response doesn’t get a chance to rest.
So: schedule recovery tie the same way you schedule school drop-offs or soccer practice. Put it on the calendar. Protect it. Treat it like it matters – because it does.
And no, it doesn’t have to be a full spa day. A walk. A 10-minute break with your coffee. A no-phone car ride after drop-off. Anything that gives your brain a moment to breathe.
This isn’t indulgent. It’s necessary.
Even five quiet minutes can help regulate your nervous system.
Practice Self-Compassion, Not Self-Criticism, to Manage Back-to-School Anxiety
When anxiety shows up, it often brings a sidekick: self-judgment. You might think:
“Why am I so anxious about this? Other parents are handling it fine.”
“I should be stronger, more organized, less emotional.”
But here’s the CBT twist: Beating yourself up doesn’t make you feel less anxious. It makes you feel more anxious – and more stuck.
Try treating yourself like you’d treat a struggling friend – with kindness, not criticism. Try saying:
“This is hard, and I’m doing my best.”
“It’s okay to feel this way. I can handle it.”
You’ll be amazed how differently your body and mind respond when you lead with compassion.
Final Thought: You Don’t Need to Eliminate Anxiety – Just Learn to Work With It
The goal isn’t to make back-to-school anxiety disappear. (Spoiler alert: it probably won’t.) The goal is to notice it, understand it, and respond to it differently. With awareness, skill-building, and a little self-kindness, you can meet this season from a steadier place – even when it’s messy. Even when it’s hard.
You’ve got this. And if today you don’t feel like you do? That’s okay too. Start where you are.
Feeling more anxious than usual lately? You’re definitely not alone. Everyone seems to be out here trying to live their best “carefree summer life,” but your heart is racing, your sleep is a mess and the heat makes you feel like you’re walking around in a pressure cooker! Sound familiar?
Take a deep breath.
Summer anxiety is real. You’re not being dramatic and nothing is wrong with you. If you’re wondering why anxiety actually gets worse in summer, there are some pretty solid reasons. Most reasons for summer anxiety are attributed to your body, brain and environment. Let’s unpack why this happens and how you can feel more grounded and in control.
Because sometimes, summer feels like this.
Heat Can Feel Like Anxiety – and Trigger It
This one’s obvious – it’s hot! When we overheat, our body starts doing pretty crazy things! Our heart rate speeds up, we sweat, and our nervous system goes on high alert. Guess what…those are classic symptoms of anxiety. The connection between anxiety and hot weather is often overlooked. However, the overlap in physical symptoms – like racing heart and sweating – can be very triggering.
If you already struggle with panic attacks or health anxiety, this can create a cycle:
You’re hot -> you panic about being hot -> your heart rate stays elevated -> your anxiety ramps up -> you sweat more -> repeat.
If you’re trying to figure out how to manage anxiety in the summer heat, it starts with taking care of your body.
Try this:
Stay hydrated.
Take cold/cool showers.
Carry an ice pack or cooling towel.
Wear loose, breathable clothing.
These small steps can help regulate your body so your brain doesn’t spiral into “danger mode.”
Remember: Your body is supposed to do this when it’s regulating temperature – just like during exercise. It does not mean danger.
When the heat turns up – outside and inside your nervous system.
Sleep Struggles = Emotional Chaos
Disrupted sleep throws everything off. Summer means longer days, later nights, more screen time, and less deep sleep. All of this sends your stress response into overdrive. Lack of sleep boosts cortisol (your stress hormone) and lowers your emotional threshold. Basically, even small stressors start to feel enormous.
â Try this:
Stick to a consistent sleep schedule – even on weekends.
Use blackout curtains or a sleep mask.
Dim lights an hour before bed.
Put the phone down – pick up a book or something to your brain and nervous system instead.
Routine Disruptions? Anxiety Hates That
Travel, kids home from school, less structure…it’s no wonder your nervous system feels all over the place. Anxiety thrives on predictability. When your routine falls apart, it can take your sense of stability with it.
Even if the changes are fun or exciting, your brain may still read them as “disruptive.”
â Try this:
Create micro-routines. These small, grounding habits help create a sense of normalcy:
Enjoy your morning coffee in silence
A daily gratitude practice
5-minute journal
A short walk or podcast break
Sensory Overload Is Real
Loud music. Crowds. Constant sunlight. Jam-packed social calendars. Summer can feel loud, emotionally and physically. If you’re feeling overstimulated, emotionally tapped out, or irritable, your rain is likely overwhelmed.
â Try this:
Schedule quiet time like you would any other commitment.
Use sunglasses, noise-canceling headphones, or take solo drives.
Say “no” to plans that don’t align with your energy level.
You’re Allowed to Feel Anxious in Summer
If you judge yourself for feeling “off” during a “happy and carefree” season – pause right there.
You’re not failing. You’re not broken. You’re just human.
Anxiety is your brain’s signal that something needs care. Respond to it the way you would to a struggling friend- with compassion, not criticism. You don’t have to fix everything. Just listen to your body and mind. Honor what they need and takes small steps to soothe your system.
Summer Anxiety Toolkit
Here are a few things to try if summer anxiety starts creeping in:
đ§ Drink water. I know it sounds basic, but it really helps.
đď¸ Protect your sleep like it’s your job. Seriously…your body needs it.
â Say “no” to plans that drain you.
đą Ground yourself with your senses – nature, music, smells, movement, etc.
đ Practice self-compassion when the inner critic starts speaking up.
Your nervous system deserves moments like this.
Final Thought: You’re Not Weak If Summer Gets Hard
You’re allowed to reclaim summer in a way that works for you. These tips won’t fix everything overnight – but they can help you feel a little more calm, a little more grounded, and a little more in control.
And, if you’ve tried everything and still feel stuck? That doesn’t mean you failed – it just means it might be time for extra support. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a powerful tool for managing anxiety. Help is always there when you’re ready.
Dreading summer already and it just started? Thoughts of your giant arms, cellulite-filled legs, and extra belly fat flying through your head like a whirlwind? Youâre looking at the cute bathing suits, tank tops, crop tops and shorts and wishing you had the right body to wear them. If so, youâre not alone. Unfortunately, body image dissatisfaction is extraordinarily high among girls and women, but boys and men are not immune. Â
What is Body Image?
Body image is how we feel about our physical appearance. This includes attitudes and perceptions, thoughts, behaviors and feelings toward how we look. Body image starts to develop when weâre quite young, looking to fit in, and be liked by others. We seek information from social media, images on the television or internet, friends, magazines, etc. to determine what’s an “acceptable” body. If our appearance doesnât match what we think it should, we will likely start down the path of having a negative body image. Unfortunately, this can start as early as 3-5 years old. Â
How Body Image Impacts Mental Health
A negative body image can wreak havoc on our mental health. Depression, anxiety, social isolation, self-consciousness, and shame are just some of the feelings involved with body dissatisfaction. Some people with a distorted or negative view of their body either have or consider cosmetic surgery and others fall into disordered eating habits. Not everyone who experiences being âunhappyâ with their body, falls into one of these categories, but the statistics are disheartening. To read more on the specific statistics, see this post from the National Organization for Women Foundation. Any degree of these negative mental health impacts can be life altering. Â
Strategies to Battle Negative Body Image
The following are just a few tips and tricks to start taking your mental energy away from your appearance and spending that energy somewhere more productive:
Values:
Identify how appearance aligns (or doesnât) with your values:
When I ask most people where physical appearance falls in line with their personal values, the answer is typically pretty low on the list. Even though this is the case, it brings awareness that their behaviors and mindset are definitely putting their appearance above a number of other values (i.e., adventure, friendship, experiences, etc.). If you want the summer to be value-driven, I would encourage you to actually look at what your values are. You can find a thorough list of values here. They don’t have to be the same as anyone elseâs. Your values donât have to be what you think others âexpectâ them to be. They just have to be aligned with you. If you want to look back on your summer with joy and excitement, focusing on your true values is a key step on that path.
Self-Compassion
Practice self-compassion:
No matter what we think or feel, practicing self-compassion is something that we can all benefit from. Self-compassion is the act of treating yourself with kindness and respect, just as you would treat your friends. Here is an assessment of your current level of self-compassion.
Most of us have an inner critic that likes to judge us and remind us just how much we are messing up. This critic often attaches to body image. For example: Why did I eat that much? Why didnât I go to the gym? Look at them, theyâre running, why arenât you? Youâre lazy! Youâre fat!  And the list keeps going. The question Iâll pose to youâŚWould you say that to anyone else? Would you actually tell someone theyâre lazy, fat, shouldnât eat something, etc.? Probably not. If not, what makes this okay to do to yourself? Actively practicing self-compassion can help counter this inner critic.
Self-compassion includes being mindful and aware of your current experience. For example, Iâm feeling very upset with myself for eating past full and I feel uncomfortable in my body right now.  Next, we want to connect your experience to the experience of others, referred to as common humanity. For example, I know I am not alone in this. So many people struggle with a negative body image. Other people understand what Iâm going through right now. This is not to invalidate the experience, rather itâs to connect you to others in a way that reminds you that you are not alone. The last step is to provide yourself with kindness. Reminding yourself that itâs okay that youâre experiencing this and that you can get through it.
Mindfulness
Focus on the experiences and memories youâre making:
Using mindfulness to stay in-the-moment and take in your experiences. Really trying to connect with what youâre doing, who youâre with and the experience youâre having outside of your self-critical thoughts and feelings. Consider the beautiful waterfall you hiked to, or the sound of laughter at a cookout. Either way, use your five senses to bring you into the moment. The last thing we want to do is recall an experience and wish we wouldâve spent more time taking it all in. And that takes practice. Â
Perfectionism
Look at the bigger picture (literally):
Many people look at images or pictures of themselves and pick out their flaws. This can be anything from âbigâ arms, to a âpuffyâ face and everything in between. Whatâs missing when they look at the pictures that way? Well, the entire point of the pictureâŚto capture the moment and the experience. Maybe it was going somewhere exciting, seeing an old friend, being able to spend time with family, etc. That is what those pictures are for, not for us to pick apart every imperfection we see on our body. Here, I encourage you to zoom out and look at the picture as a whole and try to reconnect with your thoughts and feelings you can recall during the moment. Focus your attention on the experience and purpose of the picture. Hopefully, as you just read, you enjoyed the experience and weren’t stuck in your head about your appearance. Â
Comparison
Notice when youâre comparing yourself to others:
WhoaâŚthis is a big one! Comparison is literally built into our world. We compare how we did on something, skills at sports, grades on tests, what we know via trivia, etc. What we usually donât consider is that even though it looks like there might be enough similarities for an âapples to applesâ comparison, this is not possible when it comes to the individuality of people. From health, to genetics, to upbringing, to preferences, no matter what, using others as a âguideâ or âgoalâ will usually lead to heartbreak and disappointment. Especially when it comes to body image.Â
When we see a picture, or even a person, we donât have any context. We donât know if they have a health condition, if theyâre a personal trainer and spend all day at the gym, do they have a personal chef, do they have to split time between themselves, kids and jobs. We donât have any of this information. Yet, we think itâs fair to assume that if they can look one way, so can we. We donât often look at a pilot, for example, and say, I can do that. Some of us might and we might actually make it happen. For others, itâs not a high enough priority to learn how to fly (see tip 1 on values). Some also might not want to dedicate the time and energy necessary to learn how to fly. Others have medical conditions and are not cleared to fly. As you can see, the list of things goes on and on. The same is true for body image.Â
In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, âComparison is the thief of joyâ (although the quote is often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, the actual origins are unknown).  If this sentiment has been known and discussed for at least over a century, it is mind-blowing that we continue to struggle with it. To believe that anyone elseâs appearance (since weâre focused on body image here) has anything to do with ours is preposterous! Easier said than done, but try to keep this idea in your mind when you look at someone and think âthatâs my goal.â Remind yourself that body is literally irrelevant to you and your body.
More Resources for Negative Body Image
Each of these tips are worthy of their own dedicated blog post. For now, the idea is to give you a place to start. This will not make you love your body immediately, but if we can quiet the inner critic and the negative self-talk, then maybe we wonât be so quick to believe it when it is there. If you believe your negative body image is holding you back and/or turning into a more serious eating disorder, please seek professional help. In the meantime, here are some helpful resources:
Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs) can often make us feel like we have no control over our behaviors and that weâre at the mercy of an endless cycle. We pick at our skin, pull out our hair, pick our nails, etc. We tell ourselves we wonât pick or pull again and then end up falling into the same old habits and routines. Cue the spiral of shame, frustration, guilt and helplessness.
Understanding BFRBs
Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors include things like skin picking (excoriation disorder), hair pulling (trichotillomania), nail biting/picking, cheek chewing and more. Unfortunately, due to the shame and embarrassment caused by these behaviors and the possible noticeable consequences (i.e., bleeding fingernails, bald spots, open scabs, etc.), they are often not reported or discussed. Therefore, they are not as well researched as many other mental health disorders.
However, there is enough research to suggest that these can be successfully understood and treated in most cases. The process of a BFRB often starts with an urge to engage in the behavior. This urge may result from internal or external triggers such as a sensory cue (itchy sensation), emotional cue (boredom or anxiety), cognitive cue (hair is gray/out of place, nails are too long, etc.) or others. This is not always within the awareness of the person, making resisting the urge difficult to do.Â
Treating BFRBs
When working with a mental health professional specializing in the treatment of BFRBs, the evidence-based treatment is the Comprehensive Behavioral (ComB) Model. The therapist works to increase awareness of the individualâs internal and external triggers. They come up with competing strategies to implement once they become aware of their urges. After practicing these competing strategies, they learn that the urges and the sensations pass and they can successfully get through that experience without further engaging in their picking/pulling/biting. These strategies might include learning new ways to respond to their emotions, finding other ways to âsatiateâ the physical sensation, or removal of external triggers (i.e., tweezers) from their view. The more often they get through this, they experience less intense urges and sensations and more confidence that they can successfully manage their BFRBs.
For anyone whoâs tried to get control of their BFRB in the past, they will probably say itâs quite the undertaking. However, this can be much more challenging when weâre in settings where skills are not readily available. The good news is that we can still set ourselves up for success even in less than ideal locations.
Choose Strategies You Can Implement
Here are 6 ways you can set yourself up to combat your BFRB outside of your home:
Place a visual cue to remind you to implement your strategies. This could be a post-it note, a picture, a single word, or something else entirely that simply reminds you to use your skills.
Have a bag of items handy to serve as your competing strategies. Perhaps you use a hairy squish ball to pull at, hair ties to pull your hair back, long sleeves to cover your arms or a pair of gloves making it more difficult to pick or pull.
Focus on mindfulness strategies, specifically attending to your five senses. By doing this, you may be able to keep yourself out of âautopilotâ and stay attentive to your actions. Often times our BFRBs present with boredom, anxiety, distress or other emotions weâre experiencing when we arenât being present.
Set aside a few moments to review your goals regarding your picking or pulling. For example, maybe you want that bald spot to grow back in, or you want your cuticles or other scabs to stop bleeding, etc. Maybe you just want to feel like youâre in more control of your body.
Ask for and use your support system. This may come in the form of talking to someone who knows your struggles while driving home, putting on a podcast that helps you stay focused on your goals.
Put something that serves as a tactile stimulus in these locations. One might use a piece of velcro on the back of your steering wheel, or under your desk at work or school. Using this strategy, you are providing yourself with a less destructive stimulation for your fingers.
Planning is Key
The cycle of any BFRB can be difficult to break, but with a solid plan in place and consistency in practicing your skills and strategies, it can absolutely be done.
In order to come up with an effective plan, ask yourself these questions?
Am I willing to be uncomfortable and push through the urges in this setting?
What will I have access to use/bring?
Does someone there already know about my BFRB and support my treatment and strategies? If so, how can I use/ask them for help?
Like anything else worth achieving, it will be a process that will include both successes and mistakes. If you are already seeking professional help, try adding these tips to your list of strategies. If not and youâre finding yourself struggling to navigate these unwanted picking/pulling behaviors, seek out a professional who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy for BFRBs.
Therapy can greatly help people, but it is a lot of hard work; telehealth can take some of that stress away and make it an easier process for all. Because therapy can be so challenging, we want to minimize the time required to make therapy work for you. This means that you will have more time and energy to pay attention to the things that matter to you. The ease and convenience of telehealth may be the answer we’re all looking for. This post will walk you through what is telehealth, the benefits of telehealth, and if it is right for you.
Telehealth explained
By this time in the pandemic, most of us are familiar with some form of telehealth. Telehealth is simply remote healthcare provided via phone or video conferencing. Telehealth rapidly gained popularity in 2020. However, itâs been around for over a century and has a substantial amount of research supporting its use across many fields. In addition to being backed by science, telehealth has greatly improved the accessibility of quality mental health care. Along with this, weâve noticed it has many benefits for our patients. Below we’ll discuss what providers and patients love about telehealth and if it is appropriate for you.
What we (and our patients) love about telehealth
Telehealth services for most medical and mental health care were effective long before 2020. However, for insurance, privacy, and other reasons it either couldn’t be used by providers or there was a stigma against it. Now that telehealth has been widely used with patients for years, and science firmly demonstrated that it is just as good as in-person most of the time, we want to point out what makes it so great for us and those we treat. Telehealth:
Makes therapy more accessible
Therapy is more convenient
Allows for patients, both adults and children, to feel safer at home
Provides invaluable symptom information, as many symptoms present within the comfort of one’s home
Allows for more time and energy to be put towards other important areas of your life
Accessible
First, and possibly most importantly, telehealth makes therapy more accessible. Not only is it more accessible for many providers, it is more accessible for many patients as well. For example, patients dealing with agoraphobia or trauma may have difficulty leaving their home. Remote appointments mean they donât have to face their biggest fears just to make it to a session. Those who are physically disabled, chronically ill, or have chronic pain can access the care they need without bringing on a symptom flare. Individuals who are deaf/hard of hearing, have a learning or other cognitive disability can greatly benefit. Remote options allow for the use of captions, screen sharing, chat functions, and more. Remote therapy options (along with legislation like PSYPACT), means we can treat patients in over 30 different states. This provides access to effective care which might not be available in many areas. This list isnât comprehensive, but you get the idea. Remote options make accessing mental health care possible when, in the past, it might not have been an option for many.
Convenient
Second, telehealth therapy is more convenient. Even if you’re close to your providerâs office, getting to an appointment once a week can be quite the hassle. Parking, gas, traffic, delays at school or work can all impact getting to your session on time. If your child is the one in treatment, convincing them to go to the office after a long day at school could be a struggle. If youâre very busy, it might be hard to find a regular time that works with your demanding schedule. This is especially true if you have to factor in the additional time for commuting. For college students, scheduling therapy between classes allows opportunities to work on mental health without compromising school performance or social life.
Safe/Informative
Third, most adults and children not only feel safer at home. Home is often where symptoms are most frequently occurring. With the type of therapy we offer at AWCC, therapy within our patients home can provide invaluable information. Working with someone where they feel safe and experience the most symptoms provides therapeutic opportunities. This allows providers to address specific symptoms in ways that are much more difficult in an office setting. In the past, working with a patient in their home meant we had to charge for travel time. The more time we spend time commuting, the less time we have to see patients. Despite being a small practice, we are passionate about helping as many people as we can. Telehealth allows us to help more patients, across various settings, in ways that work for them.
Leaves time for other things in life
Lastly, as we already stated, therapy is hard. What you get out of therapy is directly linked to what you are willing and able to put into it. Telehealth options are often more accessible, convenient, and can allow for more targeted treatment. This means leaves you with more time and energy to put in the hard work to achieve your treatment goals. Because remote sessions are easier to attend and schedule, they also decrease the likelihood that someone will cancel or miss appointments. This means they wonât be set back a week simply due to scheduling conflicts. Remote sessions also mean that you can still attend an appointment when you otherwise may not have been able. For example, if you have to watch your kids or you’re not feeling well, you can usually get to your computer/phone while at home. Therapy is only effective if someone can engage, so whatever makes it more likely that you can make it to sessions and put in the effort will make it more likely that you will succeed and start to feel better.
Is telehealth right for me?
Do you or your family member deal with symptoms of an anxiety, obsessive-compulsive, depressive, sleep, or trauma disorder? Need help managing a chronic health condition, chronic pain, or an eating disorder? Have ADHD, struggle to keep organized, have trouble keeping up with work/school, or possibly have a hoarding problem? Find that fear or worry keep you from doing the things you want to do in life?
If you answered âyesâ to any of the above questions, then you/your family member might be a good fit for telehealth at AWCC.
In addition to wanting help managing one of the many conditions we treat, telehealth requires access to a few things. First, you need a device, such as a smartphone, tablet, or computer, that has a working camera and microphone. Second, you need an internet connection thatâs stable enough for video calls. Third, you need a private space to have the sessions in. This can be a home office, empty conference room, car, bedroom, or wherever you have privacy and feel safe.
Telehealth is a fantastic option for almost all of the patients we see at AWCC. However, it isnât appropriate for all diagnoses and in all situations. Sometimes, people with more severe symptoms, various disabilities, and/or children younger than 10 years old may require either in-person services or a hybrid option. People with symptoms or a condition that would prevent them from being able to effectively engage in treatment via a video conferencing format are similarly unlikely to be appropriate for telehealth.
All in all, telehealth therapy is a fantastic option for almost all of the patients we treat at AWCC. Time and time again, studies have shown that Cognitive Behavior Therapy, the primary treatment we provide at AWCC, provided via telehealth is just as effective as in-person treatment for the types of patients we see and conditions we treat.
TLDR
All in all, telehealth can be a great option for most of the patients we see at AWCC. Telehealth can increase access and allow you to engage in treatment where youâre most comfortable. As fall approaches, getting your child to weekly appointments can be a nightmare with after school activities and evening traffic. Telehealth can also mean fewer missed appointments, more flexibility, and more time for you to focus on getting better rather than getting to session. Telehealth can be the difference between being able to get care or having to continue to suffer without it. Patients with a history of trauma, suffering from conditions such as agoraphobia, who are physically or otherwise disabled, or in locations with few treatment options are prime examples of this.
Most importantly, telehealth mental health treatment is proven to be effective for most, if not all, of the conditions we treat at AWCC. We have seen this first-hand with many patients over the last few years. We would not offer it if we did not believe in it.
Everyone knows video calls can suck, but so can facing the hard stuff in therapy; why not do it in sweatpants?
The average human spends about one third of their life either trying to sleep or actually sleeping. By age 80, you will have spent about 26 years in bed. As humans we spend a lot of time sleeping. But, we still donât fully understand why we need sleep in the first place. What we do know is that getting too little of it can have devastating consequences. We also know that people struggling with the following conditions report having difficulty either falling or staying asleep:
Anxiety
Stress
Depression
Chronic Pain
And many other health conditions
It’s Sleep Awareness Week and Dr. Antler has studied this necessity for almost a decade, so we thought it would be a great time to help you understand:
What is it
Why we think we need it
What happens when we don’t get enough of it
What we can do to improve it
What is sleep?
Sleep is defined as a naturally recurring state of altered consciousness during which we experience reduced muscle and sensory activity. Sleep impacts almost every type of system and tissue within the body. There are four stages that fall into two basic types of sleep: rapid eye movement (REM) and non-REM. Stages 1 through 3 are all non-REM sleep.
Stage 1: The first few minutes after you fall asleep; a light sleep with the slowing of your heart rate, eye movements and breath
Stage 2: Body more fully relaxes and brain activity slows. Most time is spent in this stage.
Stage 3: Deep sleep; body is most relaxed; brain slows further and it’s hardest to wake
Stage 4: REM sleep; starts about 90 minutes after you fall asleep; most dreaming occurs during this stage; eyes move rapidly and brain activity is close to waking levels; muscles become temporarily paralyzed (we don’t want to act out our dreams!); heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing increase
Usually, people pass through stages 1 through 3 before entering stage four and this cycle, which usually takes 1-2 hours, is repeated three to four times every night. There are many biological processes involved in sleep. Since we don’t have time to go into that here, if you are interested in learning about these processes, you can find more detailed information from the National Institute of Health. Now that we know what it is, let’s see why we need it and what happens when we don’t get enough of it!
Why do we need it?
Scientists still arenât entirely sure why we need to sleep and research in this area is still an evolving field. That said, recent studies suggest that it may play a housekeeping role in the brain. This includes removing toxins that build up while you are awake, which promotes better functioning the next day. Other studies have found that sleep may be important to our ability to remember information. Specifically, it allows our brains to process and encode information weâve taken in during the day. Then, helps us to store that information in our long-term memory for retrieval later. Have you ever struggled to remember things from the previous day after you didn’t sleep well the night before? Poor sleep might be the cause. Though we arenât certain about why we need sleep, we know a lot about what happens when we donât get enough of it.
What happens when we don’t get enough of it?
Many people think they must get 8 hours of sleep. However, the range most people fall in is more like 6-10 hours. When weâre younger, we tend to need more. Babies sleep as much as 16 to 18 hours a day, whereas children over 5 and teens need 8-11 hours a night. As we age, our need for sleep decreases, with people over 65 sometimes needing as little as 5-6 hours. Whatever our personal sleep requirement, when we donât get enough of it we call that sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation has been extensively researched and the impact it has on your health and functioning might surprise you. When we sleep just a few hours less per night for only a few nights in a row people:
Are less able to attend to information
Have less ability to complete puzzles or various tasks
Struggle to remember information
Have difficulty regulating emotions
Beyond just impacting your day-to-day activities, it’s also been shown that losing just a few hours of sleep repeatedly is associated with:
Cardiovascular issues and other physiological changes
Impairment in weightlifting performance
More susceptible to illness due to changes in immune markers
There are many studies that have demonstrated the negative impact of sleep loss, but luckily for us, there are also many studies that have looked at how we can make sure we get the sleep we need.
What can we do to improve our sleep?
Not only can improving our sleep help us to avoid the negative consequences of sleep deprivation, improving our sleep can have a positive effect on our mental health, physical health, and even our athletic performance. So what are some things that you can do to improve your sleep?
One is to practice sleep hygiene. Having good sleep hygiene means everything from setting up a good sleep environment to engaging in daily routines that promote healthy sleep patterns. Some simple things you can do to improve your sleep hygiene include:
Set and stick to your sleep schedule (both sleep and wake times)
Create and follow a nightly routine
Avoid activating things (i.e., large meals, bright light, exercise, caffeine, etc.) in the few hours before bed
Restrict in-bed activity to only sleep and sex
Ensure you have a comfortable mattress and pillow
Keep bedroom at a cool temperature (around 65°F)
Block out noise and light
Improving sleep hygiene can help some people improve their overall quality of sleep, yet research suggests that the most effective way to improve sleep quality is through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). By combining CBT techniques with mindfulness, relaxation, and sleep hygiene, we help patients to change the way they think about, engage with, and actually sleep. The end result is usually better sleep and better overall physical and mental health! In honor of Sleep Awareness Week, we challenge you to choose one of the sleep hygiene techniques above and implement it throughout this week. Sweet dreams!
